Closer Skin
Last night Joe and I went out to eat at Casa Ole. Two women, a man, a girl and a boy sat at the table next to us. At one point the man (I think grandpa, maybe dad) turned to the girl and told her she should finish her food. The no more than 5-year-old girl told him that she wasn't going to eat any more because she wanted to be skinny.
I looked up (yes, my curiosity and surprise moved me past overhearing into definite eavesdropping) to see the thin as a rail child gently push her plate away. She was being quite pleasant, actually. The man was visibly as surprised as I was, and said something to her I couldn't hear. She replied, "I want my skin to be closer." Despite the mom shaking her head no at the man, he said what I thought: "What?" She explained by putting her tiny hand around her forearm and saying "I want my skin to be closer to my bone." The mom's not-so-subtle expression made the man drop the subject. My heart dropped with it.
I remember fun slumber parties with a friend in 6th grade - she was already a good dancer at the time. Our senior year I was Drum Major in the band, and she was Head Captain of the dance team. She spent the end of that year in a hospital. She tried to change her broad bone structure into a "perfect" dancer's body with a diet of orange tic tacs and a couple of diet cokes a week. With all the damage done to her body, her condition was critical and doctors said even if she recovered, she would not be able to give birth to children. (She's married now, and seems to be doing very well.) Memories like that flooded back when I heard the girl describe her ideal body.
There are a lot of ways I could go with this, but the strongest feeling I have is towards the mother last night. While she did not seem to encourage this attitude, she seemed to hope it would go away by them not talking about it. I think issues like these don't need to be ignored for one minute. Why would that mother look the other way while her daughter spouts out these lies? She wouldn't look the other way if her child started to run into a busy street! Maybe she doesn't know how to address it. Or maybe she's had trouble running into streets herself.
I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts on the matter, including those of you who are parents. Let's make a change and not have Joe be the only one who comments!
I looked up (yes, my curiosity and surprise moved me past overhearing into definite eavesdropping) to see the thin as a rail child gently push her plate away. She was being quite pleasant, actually. The man was visibly as surprised as I was, and said something to her I couldn't hear. She replied, "I want my skin to be closer." Despite the mom shaking her head no at the man, he said what I thought: "What?" She explained by putting her tiny hand around her forearm and saying "I want my skin to be closer to my bone." The mom's not-so-subtle expression made the man drop the subject. My heart dropped with it.
I remember fun slumber parties with a friend in 6th grade - she was already a good dancer at the time. Our senior year I was Drum Major in the band, and she was Head Captain of the dance team. She spent the end of that year in a hospital. She tried to change her broad bone structure into a "perfect" dancer's body with a diet of orange tic tacs and a couple of diet cokes a week. With all the damage done to her body, her condition was critical and doctors said even if she recovered, she would not be able to give birth to children. (She's married now, and seems to be doing very well.) Memories like that flooded back when I heard the girl describe her ideal body.
There are a lot of ways I could go with this, but the strongest feeling I have is towards the mother last night. While she did not seem to encourage this attitude, she seemed to hope it would go away by them not talking about it. I think issues like these don't need to be ignored for one minute. Why would that mother look the other way while her daughter spouts out these lies? She wouldn't look the other way if her child started to run into a busy street! Maybe she doesn't know how to address it. Or maybe she's had trouble running into streets herself.
I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts on the matter, including those of you who are parents. Let's make a change and not have Joe be the only one who comments!
posted by kathryn at 5:34 PM
1 Comments:
I hope that the mom just didn't want to address it in public, and would talk about it at home. If not, it's just sad that a skinny five year old is already concerned about being fat. I feel really sorry for her.
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